Monday, June 22, 2009

Father's Day

Yesterday was father's Day and a sad day for me.

It's hard to watch all these people celebrating their fathers when mine wants nothing to do with me. I am so jealous of the heartwarming posts on facebook, the newspapers, and even here in blogger world about their dads.

All I ever wanted was to have him ( or my parents ) love me for me. All I ever heard growing up was how they wanted a boy. They have two, the wondeful sons that came a year after me.
The deadbeat and his brother.

It's a really hard holiday for me. When Mark's dad died a few years ago I felt like I had lost my dad. He was the only " Dad" I ever had. I miss those talks ( even if they were about sports).
I think he was the one who really understood what I was going thru after my diagnosis.
I think we had a kind of bond trying to cope with our medical struggles.

I know I should be happy for the relationships others have with their dads, but it hurts and it hurts alot.
Mark and I had a wonderful father's day together. Remebering his dad and sharing stories.

The dogs also gave Mark a big slop of wet kisses in the morning. Talk about dog breath !
He got to use the gift I gave him ( from the dogs of course). I bought him this funky
pan for the gas grill. so he made vegies in it. Yum

I will try harder to be happy for those of you with a normal family.
I did have a wonderful male influence in my life and that was my grandfather. I miss him every day. He accepted me for who I am and I am the independent woman I am because of him and my grandmother.

So I am going to focus on the next holiday instead of the one we just had.
And if anyone wants to pass a message along to my DNA donor dad, tell him he missed getting to know one hell of a person.

Have a great day everybody.


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Jen said...

I'm sorry things are like that for you. I can't quite relate, but I can certainly listen and let you vent. I'm sure it helps.

Jen said...

PS: I hope I made you laugh a little jut now with my formatting faux pas. Gotta go fix my name on my own journal-- apparently I can't bold my name there.....Sigh....

Libby said...

cathy, hope mark enjoyed his present as much as you did!~! my tysabri starts wednesday!!