Sunday, September 12, 2010

I left the house...

Yesterday being Sept. 11 Anniversary I found myself in my usual funk.
Not as bad as years past but still I get into a zone I can't seem to shake.

As some of you know, I had a "front row seat" on Sept. 11.

I don't talk about it much  and tried to yesterday before I completely lost
it. (sorry Mary and Kim) .
It is a day that affects us all but I really can't explain my feelings.
Sometimes I feel like it is post traumatic stress syndrom.

Last year was the first time in 9 years I actually left the house. Okay
so I got my nails done but I left the house.
This year I was asked to participate in the NMSS event and not thinking it
through very carefully I said yes.

I found myself really stressed and anxious in the crowded room so I sat
with Mark outside the room.

I am proud of myself for leaving the house and taking on a big event like
the one I did.
Each year it  will get easier ( or so they say). I am not sure I will ever enjoy
fireworks again (loud noise scare me now). I can deal with sirens again (which
is good because we  live a few blocks from the hospital) 
Helicopters still bother me (flight for life ) and certain smells (which I dont
really want to share what I had to smell that day)

I will go forward and deal the best I can. God Bless America and please
don't ever forget 9/11.
Have a great day everybody.


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1 comment:

Libby said...

cathy, God bless help so many!